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May 19, 2008: In a statistically improbable feat, your Killer Watts mustered a mere 4 runs and 13 hits in 7 innings of slow-pitch softball, while suffering a devastating pummeling at the limbs of the National Environment Trust Tree Sluggers. Buoyant optimism ruled the early innings, as the Killer Watts, feeling fresh after yet another week of rainouts, not only had all of their best, or at least most regularly present, players on hand for the game but were graced by the presence of two wildly unlikely all-stars: Oft-truant coach Steve Capanna, taking a break from cut-rate graduate school, and the relentlessly energetic former boy-wonder/intern II, Zachary “High-5” Lauritzen, here on an East Coast tour from his native Oregon, and, like Capanna, one of 5 former or current policy interns taking the field for the Watts. As the home team, the Killer Watts took the field to start the game against a barrage of Slugger cheers, jeers, and beers. Thoughts immediately turned to the possibility of a perfect game by Alliance pitcher David Mann (former policy intern #3), as the Watts defense, obviously inspired by the presence of their heretofore absentee coach Capanna, started the game with a quick three-up, three-down inning. Lauritzen and Jake from Pitt formed an impenetrable duo in left-center field, confusing the competition like a Chinese finger trap (as much from their snazzy glove-work as from Lauritzen’s constant chatter and Jake’s refusal to wear team colors.) Although dreams of perfection were shattered in the 2nd inning following a Tree Sluggers single, the game remained scoreless until the bottom of the 2nd, when research intern Joe Cohen drove in Cory “C-Wags” Wagner. The Watts extended their lead to 3-0 in the bottom of the third, powered by consecutive hits by Joe Teng (former policy intern #4), Assistant/Bench/Co-Coach Emily Curley and the Lauritzen-Repanshek center-left duo. But as the sun disappeared behind a cloud, so, too, did the Watts’ defense, offense and lead. Spurred on by a cheering section twice as large as their team – soon joined by literally dozens of obviously confused tourists who must have been temporarily baffled by how, exactly, a softball game between environmentalists memorialized World War II – NET’s spirit points for enthusiasm and “enboozeiasm” soon translated into actual runs as their participating Sluggers drove in 4 runs to take the lead in the top of the 4th inning. After the Watts went meekly in the 4th, the Sluggers tacked on another run in the top of the 5th. The Watts pulled within one in the bottom of the 6th, thanks in large part to aggressive base-running by C-Wags, but were unable to tie things up. Still, down only one heading into the final frame, the Watts had reason to be hopeful despite their generally anemic offensive performance, as the Sluggers had yet to live up to their name. Alas, as day turned to dusk, perhaps the glare from catcher and current policy intern Sally Larsen’s fluorescent green tights stopped distracting Slugger batters, as they added three insurance runs in the top of the 7th on two towering blasts over Lauritzen’s head in left. The Watts’ remained baffled by the Sluggers’ hurler in their last frame and the game ended disappointingly as the Sluggers’ shortstop, making up for some earlier defensive struggles, nabbed Curley’s line drive to finish off the Killer Watts. Their first game (and lone victory) a distant memory, the Watts are now 1-2 and near the bottom of the hyper-competitive Environmental League standings. They hope to reverse their fortunes against the American Farm Land Trust Aggies on June 2. |
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