New Power Source Found

Killer Watts bats most powerful substance in Western Hemisphere

April 14, 2008: Braving the chilly April air, the Killer Watts opened the environmental non-profit softball league with a convincing 25 to 4 win over the American Rivers “Fighting Green Weasels.” Despite being a player short, the Watts gelled quickly, showing their prowess in the field and at the plate.

Leading the game off, David Mann struck a line drive triple, aided by his aggressive base running. Cory Wagner (1B) quickly brought Mann home with a well-placed base hit. Slugger Jake Repanshek followed up with a towering homer to round out the scoring in the first.

In the field, the Watts were aided by only needing two outs per inning, as the Weasels did not field enough women. However, they do enjoy the comedy of Kevin Pollack. The quick hands of Abir Trivedi on the mound, undoubtedly related to his polished typing skills, led to several outs through the course of the game. The defensive play of the game was made by Wagner in a diving effort to beat a runner to the base. The play didn’t result in an out, but it was as close as they come. The Weasels were held to two runs in the first, and it would only get worse.

The second inning was quiet for both teams, but the Watts woke everyone up by calling into play the 10 run mercy rule in the third. Starting with a single by Holly Seeloff (2B), the Watts proceeded to bat around, aided by timely hitting from Kara Stevens (3B), Kelly Guhanick (C), and former intern Joe “Spastronaut” Teng (OF). The Weasels quickly became demoralized, managing only one run in each of the next two innings.

The Watts followed the 10-run inning with 6 more, spurred by the bat of Repanshek. Once he figured out that the ball had to be hit in the areas occupied by fielders, he was unstoppable, as was Trivedi, who, despite protestations to the contrary, was a base running maniac.

The game quickly quieted down as the outcome became apparent, as the Weasels were shut out in the last two innings. The game ended on a spectacular line drive snag by Stevens, putting the appropriate exclamation point on the Watts’ performance.