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By Monique Danziger Yesterday, April 23, 2007, the Alliance to Save Energy Killer Watts faced the victory-denying, battleship-sinking, temper-riling 2006 League Champions: The Fighting Green Weasels. The Watts had their work cut out for them, finding themselves dusty-gloved, rusty-armed and a player short amid the jumping hot grease that was the Green Weasel’s frying pan. Former Alliance intern David Mann led off the Watts batting lineup slamming a solid hit to center field that afforded him ample time to whiz past 1st and head straight on to 2d base. With the dust not yet settled, Emily Curley hit a whopping drive to center field which gave David the time he needed to engage his jet pack and fly from 2d base to home while Ms. Curley cooled her heels on second. 3 outs and no additional runs-later the Weasels were up at bat where they managed a paltry 2 runs thanks to newcomer, sticky-gloved, right-fielder Holly Seeloff and some clutch plays at first and second by short stop Aaron Cowper, 2d baseman Aarthi Murty and 1st baseman Sean Garcia. Things continued like this for approximately 4 innings, with the Weasels bringing in 6 runs total while the Alliance managed a daring 2-base run that ended in a dusty, somewhat illegal slide into home plate by Garcia and Mann making his 2d risky flight to home plate of the game followed by Ms. Curley in the 4th. The bottom of the 4th the score was a respectable 5-4, with the Weasels at-bat, clearly eager to add on to their one-run lead. In a show of Will to Power that would have Frederick Nietzsche shaking his head the Weasels went on a tear that brought the score, in a vertiginous 10 run ascent, into Mercy Rule territory. With the help of an abacus and slide ruler it was determined that, at the top of the sixth, the Watts were trailing by some. . .cough-hack-aheam-14-runs. At which time it was decided, with the sun hanging low and team morale even lower, to concede the game, 18-4. Or, in roman numerals, pronounced phonetically OUCH. Take heart, softball fans, for the Weasels are a formidable foe and possibly the strongest team in the league. And at this, their first game of the season, the Watts erred, flagged, were a bit riled at times (their name ought to be the Fight-Picking Green Weasels) and playing a man down. Our next game will be against league newcomer the Nature Conservancy at 6:15 down on the Mall. In the meantime, we’re applying peroxide and bandages to the wound, consulting a voodoo priestess about sacrificing some chickens and making sure we’re at full strength, in high-spirits and charged-up for next week. So come out and cheer us on, add your name to the roster or do your part by helping come up with deprecating words that rhyme with Conservancy. See you all next week! |
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